概要：but in his grief immediately upon conan"s death， chuck suddenly stopped seeking my opinion and began turning to his ex-wife。 i knew they had to make many final decisions together， and i realized later that he was trying to spare me from the gruesome details， but for the first time， i began to feel like an outsider instead of a parent。i also knew the driver responsible for the accident had to be prosecuted， which meant chuck and his ex-wife would have to stay in contact。
还是选择妈妈(I Still Choose "Mom"),标签：历史的选择作文,以选择为题的作文,http://www.67jx.combut in his grief immediately upon conan"s death， chuck suddenly stopped seeking my opinion and began turning to his ex-wife。 i knew they had to make many final decisions together， and i realized later that he was trying to spare me from the gruesome details， but for the first time， i began to feel like an outsider instead of a parent。
i also knew the driver responsible for the accident had to be prosecuted， which meant chuck and his ex-wife would have to stay in contact。 those ugly jealousies from the past began to resurface when， night after night， he talked to her， seldom discussing their conversations with me。
and it stung when friends inquired only about chuck"s coping， or sent sympathy cards addressed just to him， forgetting about me and even our two children。 some belittled my grieving because i was "just" a stepparent。 did anyone realize my loss and pain? i"d had strong maternal feelings for conan; he considered me his second mother - or did he? as the weeks turned into months， that question haunted me， dominating my thoughts。 i became driven to understand just what my role had been。
i rummaged through boxes of photos and dug out old journals， searching the house for mementos， even christmas ornaments he had made。
there were several comforting journal excerpts， one describing mother"s day phone calls from conan to me， and a beautiful white poinsettia he gave me at christmas。 and i cherished the memories old photos brought back - his loving bear hugs after cooking his favorite meal - or a kiss for simply doing his laundry。 as comforting as these things were， they still weren"t enough。
one beautiful spring day， almost a year after he died， i was lovingly caressing the pressed rose from his grave that i kept in my bible。 suddenly， i felt compelled to visit his grave alone。 i had never done that before， but i desperately needed some answers。
arriving at the gravesite， i remembered chuck mentioning that the permanent headstone had recently arrived。 chuck had told conan"s mom to select what she wanted。 as i looked down on the shiny marble surface， i noticed she had chosen a bronze sports emblem， along with a picture of conan that had been permanently embedded under a thick layer of glass。
i bent down and lovingly ran my fingers over his engraved name and the dates commemorating his short life。 through a mist of tears， memories of a rambunctious， fun-loving little boy filled my heart。 the child i"d mothered part-time for so many years may not have come through my body， but i had been chosen by god to provide a maternal influence in his life。 not to take his mother"s place， but to be just a "step" away。 i suddenly felt very honored to have been chosen。
"it was a privilege to be your stepmother，" i whispered out loud， bending to kiss his picture。
finally， a sense of peace was beginning。 with a heavy sigh， i got up to leave。 but as i turned to walk away， the sun glistened on the border of the headstone， causing me to look back。
"oh my gosh! how could i have not noticed it before?"
the entire border of the headstone was trimmed in gold shafts of wheat 。 。 。 exactly like a gold shaft-of-wheat pin conan had given me years ago。 chills ran up and down my spine。 i hadn"t seen that pin in years。
somehow， i just knew it was the missing link。 i had to find that pin。